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Meet the Faction – Monsters

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Wriggly

Name: Wriggly
Faction: Monsters
Power: 2
Equivalent Chess Piece: Knight
Existence in Current Reality: Mythical
Greatest Attribute: Sense of Humor
Greatest Fear: Being alone

Weapon of Choice: Vats of Slime
Power: 5
Effect: While it is a unique pleasure to watch Wriggly use her under-valued intelligence to operate complex machinery like A Dirigible or the Multi-function Torture Table, Wriggly is most at home with massive amounts of slime. It would appear she uses the slime as both a lubricant and a condiment simultaneously, which while disturbing on certain levels, is still akin to watching Michelangelo work with stone or Vince Lombardi work with footballs. At its core, it’s art.

Disposition: Descended from a long and distinguished line of tentacle monsters, Wriggly is really rather sweet natured. When she grabs a hold of a person and inserts them into her gaping maw, or when she penetrates someone’s armor with one of her seemingly endless, steel like appendages, she’s just funnin’.  That few of her play things survive their encounters with her is mostly evidence of her boundless enthusiasm rather than true
malice in her hearts –she has seven of them after all.

OverNote: Wriggly is bigger than she should be. But the necessary balance is still preserved, so only the most observant of Bosses will take note.

 

Meet the Faction – Cowboys

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Name: Poker Alice A.K.A Alice Ivers Duffield Tubbs Huckert
Faction: Cowboys
Power: 5
Equivalent Chess Piece: Rook
Existence in Current Reality: Historical
Greatest Attribute: Mathematical Acumen
Greatest Fear: Marked cards and a light deck

Weapon of Choice: Single Action Colt Revolver
Power: 2
Effect: Alice was known to carry one of these weapons hidden somewhere deep in folds of her dress.  No one knows exactly where, but she could produce it as if by magic.  She met her second husband (and the father of all of her children), Warren G. Tubbs in Bedrock, South Dakota when a drunken cowboy accused Tubbs of dealing a crooked game.  Alice threatened to rechristen the cowboy “One Nut Ned” and he went away.  She and Tubbs were married shortly thereafter.

Disposition: Alice was one tough mother.  Born in England and raised in Virginia, Alice lived her adult life on the American frontier.  Holding jobs as a gambler, poker dealer, brothel madam, and saloon owner, Alice ranged from Silver City, New Mexico to Deadwood, South Dakota at a time when women were not always welcome at the poker tables.  Still Alice was a refined woman of virtue.  She never gambled, sold liquor, or arranged dates on Sundays.  In fact it was her strict adherence to this policy that led Alice to shoot and kill an unruly cowboy on the floor of her saloon in 1913.  She claimed it was self defense and only spent a short time in prison.  She said she was able to survive her time on the inside’ thanks to her bible and her steady supply of cigars.  During her life time Alice won over $250,000* at the poker tables.  She spent most of this money on fine dresses from New York and educating her seven children.  As brilliant as she was deadly, and as calculating as she was beautiful, Alice was one to never be underestimated by her enemies.  The only foe she could not best was a ruptured gallbladder at the age of 79.

* In current OverNerd funds that would be equivalent to just over $3,000,000.

OverNote: Alice was the occasional rancher and often used to personally break in the wild horses.

Meet The Faction – Evil Klownz

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Temporary Art
Temporary Art

 

Name: Scurvy Nixon
Faction: Evil Klownz
Power: 4
Equivalent Chess Piece: Knight
Existence in Current Reality: Original
Greatest Attribute: Absolutely no regard for anything you value
Greatest Fear: Nightlights and Moms

Weapon of Choice: Wet Noodles
Power: 5
Effect: Flaccid. Soft. The opposite of sharp. Wet Noodles shouldn’t be dangerous, but in the hands of the Evil Klownz, they are. And it is this transformation that makes them so messed up.

Disposition: Born in the collective unconscious Scurvy is the beautiful, yet terrifying, monster that lives in your closet. She is what gets you when let an arm dangle over the side of the bed or leave a leg exposed from under the covers just because it’s too hot. Dreadful and horrific to be sure there is something alluring in Scurvy’s smile. There is a promise of pain but there is something else beyond. If nothing else Scurvy is naughty.

OverNote: Despite everything I’ve seen, done, and created, I still sleep with a blue canary in the outlet to protect me from the likes of Scurvy Nixon.

Meet The Faction – Pirates

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Name: Captain Flint A.K.A. James Flint A.K.A. Joseph Flint
Faction: Pirates
Power: 7
Equivalent Chess Piece: Queen
Existence in Current Reality: Fictional
Greatest Attribute: Intestinal Fortitude
Greatest Fear: Poverty

Weapon of Choice: 36 Smoothbore Cannons and Some Grapeshot
Power: 5
Effect: Grapeshot was made of a mild steel canister filled with hardened ball bearings and bits of shrapnel. When shot out of a cannon the canister would break apart and the ball bearings would achieve velocity sufficient to penetrate human flesh over three hundred yards away. Lining up 18 cannon (the other half were on the other side of the ship) and firing a broadside into a gaggle of densely packed soldiers waiting on an enemy deck for a boarding action was an effective way to reduce resistance to a young pirates’ demands.

Disposition: Making his first appearance in Robert Louis Stevenson’s adventure novel Treasure Island in 1881*, Flint is the notorious captain of the pirate ship, The Walrus. Flint raped, pillaged, and plundered his way to an enormous treasure of gold and silver. Flint and six of his trusted advisers then buried the treasure on a secret island for future use. To make sure his treasure stayed safe, Flint murdered all the men who knew where the treasure was buried. He then made a map which he entrusted to his first mate Billy Bones. To see how that turned out, read Treasure Island. Flint has appeared in several other novels, films, and television shows. Always the hard-nosed, ruthless, and capable sailor, Flint is the only person strong enough to be made the Pirate King.

*This is Standard Earth Years.

OverNote: The only man Captain Flint has ever been afraid of was his quarter master, Long John Silver, who named his faithful parrot Flint out of ‘respect’ for his captain.

Should you take command of the Pirate Faction, you’ll command both Flint and Silver.

Meet The Faction – Ninja

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Name: Mochizuki Chiyome
Faction: Ninjas
Power: 7
Equivalent Chess Piece: Queen
Existence in Current Reality: Historical
Greatest Attributes: Strength of will; Skill with edged weapons
Greatest Fear: Losing

Weapon of Choice: Smoke Bomb
Power: 1
Effect: The Smoke Bomb is a subtle weapon that allows for the set up of future attacks.  It will not often win the battle, but it puts the Ninja in position to win the war.

Disposition:  Chiyome was a 16th century noble woman and poet.  After her husband, Mochizuki Moritoki, a samurai lord, was killed in the fourth battle of Kawanakajima in 1561*, Chiyome had no choice but to live in the care of her husband’s uncle Takeda Shingen.  Rather than become another concubine in Shingen’s harem, Chiyome accepted the mission of recruiting and then training a network of female ninja known as kunoichi with the understanding that she would then employ them against her husband’s enemies.  Fueled by equal parts vengeance and loathing Chiyome embraced her new life with aplomb.  At the height of her power she commanded a veritable army of shrine maidens, wandering priestesses, actresses, prostitutes, and geisha.  The enemies of the Takeda clan continually found themselves out maneuvered and often dead.  In 1573 Shingen himself disappeared under mysterious circumstances, and at that point Chiyome vanishes from the historical record.
* This is Standard Earth Years.

OverNote: In addition to being a deadly assassin and an iron willed leader, Mochizuki Chiyome makes a damn fine batch of chocolate chip cookies.  Just be sure you have some narcan handy before you try them.